burning, fire, red, paper burning

It started as a small flame among a great forest
But the flames became to spread
And the trees blackened and became dead
The once small flame
Like a bad thought in the back of one’s head
Caused a fire that you cannot tame
One that causes a downward spiral of shame
Emptiness, guilt and pain
Causes me to be bound to my bed
Counting the days ’til I’m gone in my head
The definition is ‘living, not dead.’
If I feel numb and am full of dread
What am I?