The first image that comes to mind when we hear the word "bully" is one of a mean, tough, often friendless child who comes up to a child on the playground and forcefully insults or threatens them harm.

But the more common and typically more painful form of bullying that your daughter is likely to experience comes under the guise of her friendships.

Looking to Others for My Self-Worth
Girls are generally socialized from early in life to please others (i.e., and subsequently gain their approval) and to assess their own value by evaluating how others around them feel about them. This socialization process can potentially give others a lot of power over a girl's self-esteem and makes it possible for girls to easily hurt each other with very subtle comments, unfair statements, or even a slightly edgy tone of voice.

Subtleties
Some of the most common bullying behaviors between girlfriends include:

• Emotional blackmail ("If you play with her, then I can't' be friends with you.")
• Isolation ("We're playing our own special game today; maybe I'll play with you at recess tomorrow.")
• Social embarrassment (ex: Whispering to others peers, then laughing)
• Subtle insults ("I can't believe you're wearing those pants to school…")
• Ignoring (ex: Pretending not to hear a question, turning away when someone joins the group.)

This type of bullying can be devastating to your daughter's self-esteem and to her relationships with other friends.

Discuss an assertive and appropriate response that she can use to respond to bullying behaviors and then help her practice using it. Don't ask your daughter to wait things out – after all, she should not have to wait one more day to get the respect she deserves.